A couple of years ago I was totally convinced that I wasn't a Christian anymore because I hadn't persevered. I stumbled and lost the plot, and God was alien. In some ways I think I'm there again, in terms of apathy and failure.
I'm not sure my theology was quite right then, however, and I'm pretty sure God hasn't given up on me! But, 'It's impossible to be a static Christian, if you're not going forward you're going backwards' seems uncomfortably familiar. I had a list of ponderings to kick myself out of the rut the last time it got desperate...
* If I recommit my life to Jesus, I have to remember the holiness of God and the seriousness of my decision. To backslide again would be to say that God is worth nothing to me. My decision would be incredibly serious because I am giving my whole life over to Christ. To take it back would be sacrilege.
* God doesn't want me to waste my time on earth, and given just the slightest bit of encouragement from me, He's going to use me as a great ambassador for His kingdom.
* Every day is going to be a battle, but Jesus has already won the decisive battle, and I'm on his side so I can't lose. I need to remember to look to my King at all times.
* Pray at the beginning of each day - the Lord's prayer, or the prayer of Jabez, or even just 'help me to be a useful person for you today, Jesus.'
In my better moments, I realise what a fool I'm being and how much I'm wasting my life, wasting opportunities, living without God. Breaking God's heart, mine and letting other people down. Other times, like tonight, I'll happily subscribe but can't be bothered to live it because it means having a heart and feeling things. I want to pray this week that God will give me a heart to feel for His people, for lost people, 'a sense of violation at the failure of God's people to be the effective demonstration of Him.'
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1 month ago
4 comments:
ooh interesting stuff, I think that being a Christian does involve God in as much time of everyday and consulting him about absolutely every, I want to change my car, I'm asking God to provide me with the right car, I dunno what the right car is but I'm sure God does...everyone backslides to some extent from time to time, Iv had times where Iv been willing to give up everything for something that wasn't God and God in turn has given me a good kick up the backside and chucked me back in the right direction
I think as a started Laura perhaps go to church lots, I know you don't like awesome but they have some damn good challenging talks especially phil!
Try reading Mark 6 onwards for some motivation, I was waiting for caroline and God told me to pick up the little new testement in my car and read from Mark 6, not only was it the verse me and dave were looking for for our serman but it's sooo challenging and gets you thinking. :)
sorry for the essay!
If we're suggesting reading material for getting a kick up the backside and stuff, I heartily recommend The Vision and The Vow by Pete Greig. It investigates the power of making a vow to live a lifestyle following God's lifestyle - just like Count Zinzendorf did with the Honourable Order of The Mustard Seed. Basically they vow loyalty to Christ, kindness to one another and a shared commitment to focus outwards on the needs of the poor and the lost (based on Matt 22:27 and Matt 28:18-20).
Thank you guys, I'll follow up both your comments. This week is going a little better already.
thats good, will pray for you :)
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