What's in a name?

What's in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet

~ Shakespeare, Romeo & Juliet


I've been toying with the idea of taking on a middle name when I get married. 'Laura Brown' is just plain boring and 'Laura Foster' only slightly more exciting (in terms of a name that is; it's real meaning to me is much more special and thrilling than I can express).

I've been thinking of possibilities...

Laura Ella Foster? I like Ella because it was an adopted name made up with a friend when on a church weekend away. We had listened to a talk about how Daniel and his friends all had God's name in their names, and when the Babylonians changed their names it was like their identity being spoiled. We wanted God to be fully part of us and made each other nicknames containing 'El' and 'Yah' - two of the Hebrew (?) names for God. According to www.thinkbabynames.com 'It is of Old German origin, and its meaning is "other, foreign"', which seems almost appropriate to the story of Daniel! http://www.babynamesworld.com/meaning_of_Ella.html says it's of Greek origin meaning torch or bright light, which would be nice to live up to. It's also the name of one of my favourite singers, Ella Fitzgerald. Having been my forum profile name for years it seems more part of me than any other name picked out of a names dictionary.

Ben favours Jane. Jane sounds very English and reminds me of Jane in Pride and Prejudice - far too angelic a character to ever live up to!

I'm not even sure how this would work legally - I think it's okay to do judging by clients' birth and marriage certificates I see at work, but I might need to check before setting my heart on a new name! Part of me thinks it would be a bit weird to give myself a name - naming seems to be a parent's job, not mine.

Talking of surrendering...

By strange coincidence there is a programme on Five tonight at 9pm about surrendering wives. I get the impression from the advert that it maybe focuses on the wrong way to go about it, but it might be interesting viewing anyway. I've been at home for a four day weekend so have caught snippets of chat and breakfast shows and it seems to be a hot topic at the moment - it's surprising how many wives phone in to say how much happier they are after learning to surrender, and also how scornful others are when they can't understand how it could possibly work.

In the blogosphere today...

Bank holidays are a nice opportunity to catch up with things.


Hayley is lovely and keeps an often thought provoking blog that I rediscovered today.

Post Secret is as bizarre and honest as ever:



And Paul has some beautiful photos on his image blog.

Vote for our fine city!

http://www.monopoly.co.uk/index.aspx

The makers of Monopoly are producing a UK board with 20 places on it, not based on price but on the passion of the people. Norwich was 19th last time I looked..

Surrendering

I'm reading The Surrendered Wife at the moment and finding it interesting. A lot of the reviews I've read recommend it to marriages in trouble - don't be put off! There's nothing wrong with Ben and I but I'm still finding it useful!




The book's basic premise is that if a wife becomes less bossy, nagging or controlling towards her husband she will become more like a wife and less like his mother, therefore making him more inclined to cherish her, protect her and look after her. It also talks about how to stop doing everything and getting stressed by that, and relinquishing responsibility back to the man.

A number of topics are covered - from general things like making use of or creating a circle of girl friends for support and accepting compliments graciously, to specifics like giving up control of finances to your husband.

Some of the book makes me feel a little selfish and uncomfortable - there are a couple of chapters on taking care of yourself first and spending your energy surplus on yourself. I'm sure these bits have benefits, however, and I can imagine that once a balance is restored in a relationship there may be extra time to spend on recharging.

The most revolutionary idea to me at the moment is letting go and stopping nagging - the book advises that if your husband does something wrong that doesn't threaten anyone's safety, let it go. As the book says, it's really not a disaster if the kids' pyjamas are put on back to front! I'm a bit of an all or nothing kind of person when it comes to things like housework and it irritates me if a job isn't done perfectly, so this is a big challenge.

One of the first chapters advises your plan to surrender to be kept a secret from your husband. I don't know about other couples, but I can't seem to hold anything back from Ben and don't think I want to. I'd rather any adventure of mine be shared with him especially one that involves him so much, then he can nudge me when I go terribly wrong!

Pic n mix

Another update post...

Work - I've applied for two jobs recently but not got any interviews. I'm not too disappointed, somehow I think God knows that an interview is the last thing I need just now! I'm still bored and unfulfilled at work at the moment and still looking into other things. I'm moving into a different team next week which will keep me on my toes for a month or so with learning all their quirks.

Wedding - Mum has said she's not attending. I feel let down. She doesn't agree with Ben and I getting married and can't bear to be in the same room as my dad. In a way this is good news though as will be less worry on the day and less confusion for seating plans! On a more exciting note, I've ordered my dress and it's currently being made.

I'm in a really reflective thinky mood this week... I've booked a flex day on Friday to make the most of it and do some pondering over tea without sugar in Costa.