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Newspapers

Made me laugh, from The Student Room:

"The Times is read by the people who run the country. The Daily Mirror is read by people who think they run the country. The Guardian is read by people who think they ought to run the country. The Morning Star is read by the people who think the country ought to be run by another country. The Independent is read by people who don't know who runs the country but are sure they're doing it wrong. The Daily Mail is read by the wives of the people who run the country. The Financial Times is read by the people who own the country. The Daily Express is read by the people who think the country ought to be run as it used to be run. The Daily Telegraph is read by the people who still think it is their country. And the Sun's readers don't care who runs the country providing she has big tits." -- from Yes Prime Minister (from the 1980s, it doesn't have quite the same resonance today)

"The Star is read by the people who think the Sun is a bit too upmarket." -- anon

"The Sport is read by the people who think that Elvis is running the country from his secret lunar bunker assisted by a team of topless aliens." -- anon