Prayer of simple regard

This isn't exactly what I was talking about in my post about silent faith, but I read this on sacredspace today:

Religious art often shows Mary carrying a rosary in her hands. But it would not make sense for Mary to be saying Hail Mary…Our Lady never said the rosary; but it does make sense as her gift, something that prayerful people have developed over the centuries as a simple way of praying. The fingers can find comfort in passing the blessed beads through them. The rhythm of repetitive prayers releases the mind, and it can go in all sorts of directions: to designing clothes, to focussing on the needs of children, or of sick friends, or of some overwhelming concern, and asking God to hear our prayer; to reflecting on the mysteries of Jesus’ life, as linked with the different decades; or to reflecting on joyful or sorrowful times in our own lives, trying to see how God was there, when at the time he may have seemed far away.

Even when our prayer becomes more silent and wordless, as we grow older, the rosary can still help. It still releases our mind, because the telling of the beads becomes quite automatic. There are people who move from the reciting of the beads into a sort of prayer that no longer needs any thought or language. It has been called the prayer of simple regard, or the prayer of stupidity, or mystical prayer. Names do not matter. Prayer is, as the catechism used define it, a lifting of the mind and heart to God, and for that the rosary is only a springboard. It is Mary’s gift, to be used as it helps us.

The Mary bits don't really interest me at the moment but the prayer of simple regard jumped out at me because of its lack of thought or language.

So I read a bit more on Wikipedia and it doesn't seem too disimilar to a form of meditation. The article ends with this:

Basil Pennington, one of the best known proponents of the centering prayer technique, has delineated the guidelines for centering prayer:

1. Sit comfortably with your eyes closed, relax, and quiet yourself. Be in love and faith to God.
2. Choose a sacred word that best supports your sincere intention to be in the Lord's presence and open to His divine action within you (i.e. "Jesus," "Lord," "God," "Savior," "Abba," "Divine," "Shalom," "Spirit," "Love," etc.).
3. Let that word be gently present as your symbol of your sincere intention to be in the Lord's presence and open to His divine action within you.
4. Whenever you become aware of anything (thoughts, feelings, perceptions, images, associations, etc.), simply return to your sacred word, your anchor.

Ideally, the prayer will reach the point where the person is not engaged in their thoughts as they arrive on their stream of consciousness. This is the "unknowing" referenced in the 14th century book.

I think this is the kind of direction my prayer life is taking - "being in love and faith to God" - and I'd really like to build on this. I'm interested in prayer again and it's nice to be reminded that out loud Sunday morning type prayers aren't the only way to be with God.

A Girl's Guide on How to Deal With Boys

The main difference between boys and girls is that boys like doing things - driving cars, playing football, throwing stuff, eating, farting - and girls like feeling things, such as love, friendship, happiness and excitement.
Boys are very physical; girls are very emotional. This is a gross generalisation, but it helps to remember that when you ask a boy "How are you feeling?" he will probably answer "Hungry" or "Cold" and not "Deliriously happy because I am with you". To begin with, this can be disappointing, but it can't be helped, since expressing emotion comes as naturally to a boy as ballet does to an elephant.
If you are friends with a boy, bear in mind the following: boys worry a great deal about what other boys think of them. Therefore, even if a boy really likes you, he will be weird about showing this in front of other boys.
If he's very immature, he may ignore you completely when he's with his friends. This means he's probably too much of a baby to bother with, although you may wish to give him a second chance if he apologises and promises never to do it again. If he's actively rude to you in front of his mates, forget about him. He is not just immature, he is an idiot.
Boys are often spoilt by their mothers, so they have a tendency to think girls should do all the boring things in life, such as cleaning, cooking and ironing their T-shirts, while they do all the exciting things: jet-skiing, playing in rock bands, being spies. Don't indulge this belief; the sooner they get re-educated the better.
Boys don't always say what they mean and often don't mean what they say. Communication is not their strong point. They're not terribly sensitive to other people's moods either, so if you are upset about something, you will have to spell it out to a boy. It's unlikely he'll work it out for himself, no matter how much sulking or moody hints you drop. Just tell him what's bothering you and he'll probably be genuinely surprised and sorry he's upset you.


Although boys go to great pains to show the world a confident front, underneath they are just as insecure as the rest of us. Sometimes, when it's obvious they are feeling sad (you will know this through your superior powers of intuition), a bit of encouragement or a compliment can help them feel better.
One of the nicest things you can say to a boy is that he's good at something, eg skateboarding, running, building a tree house or solving quadratic equations. Remember these few basic rules and boys can be among the best friends you'll ever have. They'll carry your books for you, too.

Linky Link

Female God

I never liked the idea of God being female, I'm much more comfortable with him being referred to as male. But this picture from postsecret changed my mind...

Week 26ish

I made a few new year resolutions back in January and as it's half way through the year I've been thinking about how I'm doing and what's still left to do. They were...

* Read the Bible and pray alone more often
* Continue going through our Marriage Course Book with Ben and have regular us time
* Lose weight
* Finish my proofreading course before September
* Pray with Ben regularly
* Join a group/activity
* Read some quality books

The one I ticked this week was to finish my proofreading course! My diploma is hopefully in the post now. I'm really pleased to have finished it with 2 months to spare! The next step will be thinking about what to do with - I could in theory build up a freelance business but I think I need some experience first. I'd love to build up a client base in the next few years and be able to work from home by the time we have children.

Praying and having 'us' time with Ben is half getting there. We're getting into the habit of having a 'date night' about once a month where we'll make an effort to go out for dinner or do something fun together - last month Ben found out about salsa at the Forum and surprised me! This week we went to Pizza Express and had a nice leisurely dinner and talk. I hope this is something we keep up throughout our married life. Praying is up and down as we're still trying to build up a habit and find a time of day that works for us. We've finished the Marriage Book by Nicky and Sila Lee - I would recommend it for any couple getting married, it covers most topics and was great as a discussion tool.

Reading the Bible and praying alone more often is not happening in the way I'm used to. I think my faith is taking a different journey now and I'm glad about that in a way. My silent faith post pretty much sums that up for now.

Losing weight and joining a group or activity have gone hand in hand so far. I've nearly lost 2 stone and would like to lose one more. Weight Watchers has been a huge soure of motivation and there are some really amazing people there who constantly inspire me. I have so much more energy and confidence now.

Reading good books... I seem to rarely find the time! I'm arguing for getting rid of the television license again when ours expires this summer, so please throw any recommendations my way!