I didnt really blog on it properly so here is a bit more comment. For some background, Heather posted a summary of the evening in her post
here.
I think I've got to the stage where I'm growing out of Fridays and I enjoy something a bit more challenging, so it's definately a compliment to say Ambient Wonder is like Fridays for grown ups. It's soemhing I'm looking to moving on to, a new challenge and atmosphere to grow to love. The thing I like about Fridays is it's openess to incorporating things other than talks and songs into worship, and the kind of Fridays where there were different activities and ways to express myself was something I found a lot of freedom in.
Ambient Wonder last week was the same - there was space to be silent before God, time to be with others and to read their thoughts an other people's poems etc, admire everyone's art, (and laugh at our own silly lantern hastily made in a few minute near the end!)
One of the things that used to frustrate me about my last regular church (and lots inbetween) is the way the congregation is often shephered through a service with hardly a minute to reflect on why we're there, what we're doing and what it means. I love services with space to do this, to realise where I am before God and how to relate to him during the service and to find his presence there, something which I don't think can be done very easily in the hymn/sermon sandwich type service. I think this is one of the reasons I like St Augustine's so much. Every service we've been to has started with a time of silence and it's a great opportunity to ground myself and to prepare for meeting with God.
On the actual content of Ambient Wonder, I felt a bit out of tune with the thoughts being shared. After Heather had talked about the change of the seasons being an anxious time for our ancestors as they hurried to be ready for the cold weather, there was a time of darkness. I didn't feel any anxiousness in the dark at all - I thought about how I felt at ease. There was no one to look at me, the lack of light was gentle on my tired eyes and the peace was amazing!
Maybe that's the effect of living in the city for the past year - there are always street lights shining on our house, no room is ever in complete darkness, there's constant noise from the business next door and the traffic on the roads. I feel like I'm living in a 24/7 society sometimes, so the dark and quiet was comparatively soothing.
The light afterwards was interupting, bright, unwelcome and I missed the dark! Ben and I briefly wondered if we were being a bit pagan, because traditionally light is everyhing good and Godly, and dark is something the wicked love. Only briefly though! I think we were feeling light and dark as physical effects on our bodies rather than in any spiritual way.
In the future, as I get to know more people at St Augustine's, I hope Ambient Wonder can be a time to commune with others and to share experiences during the services.
Well done to Heather and Paul and the team behind the evening. I'm really looking forward to future events :)
